Date: 17.11.14
Time: 8:00 PM
Where I disappeared for one day is simple to explain. First yesterday
was Sunday (yes, we all know how important Sundays are for everyone). And second
reason is more obvious- I had an exam today for which I was least prepped. Umm,
not least prepped, it’s more like deliberately giving up and act of study. You know
that feeling when you have a whole bunch of things to study which you never
even glanced upon once? And then you feel even if you glance on it one day
before the exam what’s the use, how much will the brain retain? Yes, that’s
exactly how I felt yesterday. I call this state of my mind as “state of
withdrawal”.
You know back in my home city I used to be this freaked out
student who got tensed like anything with slightest breeze of exams. And here, I
guess I am the least freaked out person. It might seem like I am taking things
lightly or rather giving less importance to this thing called “semesters”.
But trust me if you can, that’s not the fact. I am not
taking anything lightly. I have chosen the fact that I can’t study everything
and remember everything in the exam, so I do selective study. And I try to keep
myself focused in whatever topic I study. I might study less but I ensure I study
efficiently. Then again I know people out there might not see my efficiency or
accuracy but my mark sheet. We always have a choice right? So I choose accuracy
over quantity of marks. I am reaching that phase of my life where I am bothered
only by the words of people whom I care about; rest of the world can talk to my
hand.
Last night I was bit stressed. Something inside me told that
today’s exam won’t leave me with a good memory. I was talking over phone to one
of my bestest friend, Rikoo and I told him I don’t know what I will do in exam
today. He said you seem like asking the question as Dora asks in her show. And he
mimicked the way Dora give us options for a question. And he quiet effortlessly
cooled down my freaking nerves. I laughed and told myself “Let it be. Whatever happens
let it happen”.
Sometimes you have that one friend who knows
how to calm you down and who tells you, you are capable of achieving whatever
you want to. With a friend like that life gets a little bit bearable. For me,
Rikoo is one of that friend of mine.
So how was today’s exam? You know I had that fleeting “give
up moments” right amidst the time of exam. I made a sincere and continuous
effort to not give up and finish the paper somehow. A voice in my head was
pushing me hard asking me to leave and not to write the answers half
efficiently. What I felt was sheer “frustration”. Yes that’s exactly how I describe
it.
In the morning my mother called me up to wish me all the
best. And she said “even if you don’t know the answer of the questions you make
sure you at least write something in each question. Just don’t leave any
question.”
So, mom, I wrote the paper for you. Yes I wrote every answer but if someone gives me to check my own answer I wrote today, I will tear it and throw it away.
Let the bygone be gone. There is no point in lamenting in
what you could have done. That would do more harm to your present moment and
won’t even change a thing about your past.
So remember what I said in my last post? “This too shall
pass”, so why worry and have wrinkles when you can smile and have dimples?!
P.S: 2 down, 3 more to go.
Oh! actually its four more to go. It seems we have a soft
course tomorrow. Subject: Introduction Basic Ecology. So wish me luck and rest
of you have a good night. I meet you again tomorrow.
and yeah, exact 4 months later its my birthday :D
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